on always being late

When I’m invited somewhere, or have arranged to meet someone at a particular time, I’ll generally arrange things so that I’m there at that time – and no earlier.

This means that if anything doesn’t go to plan, I’m automatically late for things. This is after I started allowing time to actually get where I was going!

For a while, people are understanding: then, people compensate – you’re given a different starting time to everyone else. What is wrong with arriving, say, 15 minutes early? I think I have some kind of phobia about “wasting time” waiting for something to start: there’s something more productive I could be doing.

This fear of wasting time is a powerful thing: it’s not just waiting for something to start that’s the problem – anything where I have to slow down my mental processes is affected.

Psalm 46 says (of thinking about God) to “Be still”, but even having convinced myself that this is important, it still feels contrary to my nature. It seems there’s more to life than racing around madly all the time. Next step? To put that into practice.

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